Day 75

DOSE: 120 mg Baclofen (30/30/30/30); 300 mg Bupropion SR (150/150).

OTHER MEDICATION(S): Multivitamin (1 tablet); Fish Oil (1 capsule)

SIDE EFFECTS: Decreased alcohol cravings; slight headache

I tapered off of my gabapentin over the past couple weeks, and I haven't noticed any significant difference without it. As I dropped in gabapentin dose I did have an increased urge to drink, but as I began to once again increase my baclofen, the cravings diminished. I've definitely still been having cravings, and I'm just not sure how baclofen alone can make me feel "indifferent" towards alcohol. I have become pretty reclusive, mainly because I have a hard time making friends as a sober college guy. I know that I need to branch out and make more friends in order to feel better about sobriety, but it has been difficult. I don't even know how to begin, and I've grown accustomed to living a very independent lifestyle. The days are extremely familiar and occasionally monotonous, but I'm still sober and that means I'm giving myself a chance to change my life. Baclofen will not make my life better. However it has made cravings considerably easier to deal with, and it's allowed me to focus on other aspects of my life. The bupropion has definitely also helped with elevating my mood and giving me more energy during the day. I will be starting my next semester of school in a couple of weeks, and I'm both excited and apprehensive about it. I think it's going to help a lot for me to fill my days and be more productive, but I'm unsure as to how baclofen will effect my abilities. If it proves to be much of a problem, I'm going to have to reduce the dose. The hard part about being sober is the fact that I no longer have an excuse to fail at life. I now have to realize that big changes have to take place in order for me to be happy, and it's a daunting thought. I'm planning to attend a SMART recovery meeting soon, and to start volunteering on my days off of school. In order to get out of myself I think I really need to begin helping other people and exploring the world. I've lived in my new city for nearly a year and a half, and I haven't explored much of it. I guess this blog entry has turned into more of a diary haha. Anyways, I've been sober for roughly three and a half months, and my life is getting better whether I choose to acknowledge it or not. It is my responsibility to take advantage of my new freedoms and what I choose to do with my life.

"God will not have his work made manifest by cowards." - Ralph Waldo Emerson