Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Day Ten

DOSE: 40 mg Baclofen (10/10/10/10).

OTHER MEDICATION(S): Multivitamin (1 tablet). Omega 3 Fish Oil (1 capsule).

SIDE EFFECTS: Slight mood changes; decreased alcohol cravings.

Tomorrow I will be increasing my dose to 50 mg, and I've decided to go up every three days due to the fact that I haven't had any limiting side effects. Yesterday I was having some strange mood swings and occasional cravings for alcohol, which frustrated me because prior to that I hadn't been experiencing hardly any cravings. I've also been getting anxious about a job interview that I have tomorrow morning. I've been noticing that in stressful situations I think baclofen actually makes me more anxious, not less like some people have experienced. However that feeling usually subsides after about 20 minutes. Overall I'd still take any of this over intolerable alcohol cravings and that lurking sensation of feeling "trapped" into sobriety. I started my intensive outpatient program yesterday, and I'm looking forward to continuing to attend those groups as well as beginning individual therapy sessions. Baclofen is doing about as much as a pill can do so far, but I still need to address underlying issues in order to have meaningful, lasting sobriety. Or is that the AA talking? Occasionally I'll notice myself drifting into feelings of regret about foolish past behaviors while drunk. I've done some incredibly ridiculous things while intoxicated, but it really serves no purpose to dwell on any of it. Anyways, I'm 38 days sober and feeling great! The only thing on my mind is this stupid interview tomorrow, and for some reason I just can't help but thinking I'm going to fail miserably. All I can do is show up and be myself and hope for the best. I'm sorry for these boring, monotonous blog entries, I'll try to spice things up as I get used to this whole process.

And just to repeat for anyone who is curious about my dosing schedule:

1st dose: 7 - 8:30 a.m. (depending on when I wake up)
2nd dose: 1 - 1:30 p.m.
3rd dose: 6 - 6:30 p.m.
4th dose: 10 - 11:30 p.m. (depending on when I go to sleep)

This schedule is working great for me so far, and when I increase I take the larger dose in the morning and in the evening because the afternoons are the only times I occasionally experience tiredness from baclofen. I'll post again soon!

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